365 days

My horrible sinus infection has largely cleared up, and although I’m a little stuffy and still thoroughly exhausted, the sinus pressure is much better. Unfortuntately, I am having some headaches that are worrisome. I’m trying hard to stay calm about them. And I’m still emotionally all over the place. I’ve heard this is normal when treatment ends, that that is when people often start to process everything, forcing all sorts of emotional and psychological work to slog through.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. How does one mark this type of anniversary? We decided on burritos and naps.

It was a hard day after a hard year.

Every night when I put Nate to sleep, we have a bit of a conversation. He tells me a little bit about his day, painting a fragmented picture of his experience at daycare and at home. Sometimes he says things like, “puzzle,” or sings the ABCs, or explains “lion says ‘roar!'” So last night, feeling reflective, I said to him in a gentle voice:

“You know, Nate, this past year has been a tough one, because Mommy has been sick.”

And he looked at me with earnestness and said, “Chanukah is over! It’s finished!”

And I smiled and said, “Yes, sweetie, it is, but we’ll celebrate again next year.” I get the feeling he really enjoyed Chanukah this year. And then he put his hands on his head and said, “Birthday!” And then he said, “cake!”

“Yes, love, it’s almost your birthday. How old are you going to be?”

“Twoooooooooo!”

So that was it, our big reflective conversation marking the one year anniversary of the diagnosis. Me, looking back at some tough times, and Nate looking forward to happy ones.

Enjoying the Canadian winter at a friend's cottage.

Enjoying the Canadian winter at a friend’s cottage. How can you not smile looking at these faces?

 

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About Naomi

Writing about health/wellness and motherhood at www.everybodyhearts.com and academia and research at www.tracingmemory.com
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14 Responses to 365 days

  1. Duff says:

    Naomi,
    I am super happy to hear that you are gathering your energy back and finding genuine enjoyment out of life’s day to day happenings. Have been thinking of you lots. Glad you have cute faces to look at to keep spirits high. Enjoy your cottage time and i look forward to speaking with you soon.
    Happy holidays!

    Duff and Annie

  2. Evan Green says:

    Beautiful pic and beautiful words.

    Lots of love.

    Kindest regards,

    Evan D. Green Vice-President – M&E, RBM and Disaster Risk Management Le Groupe-conseil baastel lte *www.baastel.com*

    Tel.: *1-(819)-595-1421* ext. 228 Cell: *1-(819)-329-4490* Skype: h-evan

    [image: sign_baastel_small]

    “*It is our collective and individual responsibility to protect and nurture the global family, to support its weaker members, and to preserve and tend to the environment in which we all live*” -the Dalai Lama

    *From:* Everybody Hearts [mailto:comment-reply@wordpress.com] *Sent:* Wednesday, December 11, 2013 9:19 PM *To:* evan.green@baastel.com *Subject:* [New post] 365 days

    Naomi posted: “My horrible sinus infection has largely cleared up, and although I’m a little stuffy and still thoroughly exhausted, the sinus pressure is much better. Unfortuntately, I am having some headaches that are worrisome. I’m trying hard to stay calm about them.”

  3. hensleton says:

    So happy to see you posting again, though hate that you are suffering so! Sending tons of love to your head and heart! XOXOXOXOXOXO

  4. I love her. No big deal.

    From: evan.green@baastel.com Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2013 23:06:13 -0500 Subject: RE: [New post] 365 days To: comment+e358amq3fl732w379qt3y8@comment.wordpress.com CC: mitchellpraw@hotmail.com

    WordPress.comBeautiful pic and beautiful words. Lots of love. Kindest regards,Evan D. Green

    Vice-President – M&E, RBM and Disaster Risk Management Le Groupe-conseil baastel lte http://www.baastel.com Tel.: 1-(819)-595-1421 ext. 228 Cell: 1-(819)-329-4490

    Skype: h-evan

    “It is our collective and individual responsibility to protect and nurture the global family, to support its weaker members, and to preserve and tend to the environment in which we all live” -the Dalai Lama

  5. Sarah says:

    what a sweet and beautiful pic of your boys! so happy you are enjoying some cottage time, and hugging you when things feel tough, big love to you my dear friend xoxoxo

  6. Beautiful photograph 🙂 Cheers to you on your one year past that life-flipping moment, and for looking forward.

  7. Steph says:

    Every year is worth celebrating… burritos sound like a good way to do it! I love that pic…. oh boy, Nate is just the cutest (and Mitchell is okay, too). 🙂

  8. Elizabeth says:

    It is not surprising to me in the slightest that your head is grumpy. Let it sulk. The bottom line is you are doing fantastically well, and I am certain you have headache-free, cancer-free, healthy-happy times ahead. And of course, billions of hugs and love to you and your gents.

  9. Terrible year. The new one has to be better. Love Arlene Hubscher

  10. Lesley says:

    I hear he’s recently learned the word “Meeeeexico!” I hope his upcoming daily reflections include new Nate-isms like “Happy mommy”, “Relaxed daddy”, “Sunny times” and “Uncle Robbie Poops.”
    Hugs & love

  11. Yulia says:

    Hey Naomi, Just wanted to wish you and your wonderful family great holidays! All the best for the New Year, lots of great days, getting your strength back and enjoying life more and more step by step. Also wanted to congratulate Nate on getting big! What a great age! It is amazing to watch them speak and make their own conclusions now, so amazing!
    Sending you love and loots of hugs!

  12. Kathy says:

    Thinking of you, Naomi. Happy New Year! Sending you positive vibes and wishing you a wonderful and very healthy 2014. 🙂

  13. Yulia says:

    Hey Naomi, hope your new year started nicely. Just wanted to send you our love! Miss your posts, looking forward to hearing from you. Please say hi to Nate from Leo.

  14. Pingback: A husband’s update | Everybody Hearts

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